As the constellations separated; the moonlight dimmed and dulled All along, I was afraid of losing you the most With the stars in my eyes, I was an oracle I could see the constellations form in the sky like clockwork Imagery of misery; beautiful destruction And I passed it all off as a bad dream - unconscious corruption And then it came like lightning - a flash of blinding revelation The night you lost your life to match my nervous prediction I knew before a single word ever let me know that it was time to let you go Didn't have a choice - didn't have a voice Drowned out by the noise of the faucet running But I remember all those years ago when we would lay beneath the sky And you would always point to the moon Telling me how you thought it was a big balloon and that we should just deflate it Watch it cascade - watch it float down - wither and fade like the petals in your rose garden Telling me the most beautiful things never last long And you were never wrong I watched your tormented eyes lose focus too easily I hate myself because I never realised just how much you needed me Could I have made a difference? Could I have changed the outcome for you? I treat my hands like there's blood on them And like there's nothing I can do I knew before a single word ever let me know that it was time to let you go Didn't have a choice - didn't have a voice Drowned out by the noise of the faucet running I knew before I had even picked up the phone that you had just died alone All those years of smiles, insincere You never wanted to be here As the constellations separated; the moonlight dimmed and dulled All along, I was afraid of losing you the most I knew before a single word ever let me know that it was time to let you go Didn't have a choice - didn't have a voice Drowned out by the noise of the faucet running I knew before I had even picked up the phone that you had just died alone All those years of smiles, insincere You never wanted to be here Didn't have a choice but to feel you disappear Didn't have a voice that you could ever hear Didn't have a choice but to feel you disappear Didn't have a voice - I never had a voice

Patience is crucial in this place Hide and seek from an unkind face In the corner of a room seemingly empty Hidden behind the door with every intention to stop breathing If it means that I won't be found I've always been scared of the dark but it's all that I look for now Just so I will stay safe from sharpened teeth Ripping up my scarred skin just to watch me bleed I never really feel secure - I don't want to be scared anymore I was always terrified of the darkness but I found something worse to fear Just 'cause living in the shadows is not what I wanted Doesn't mean I don't belong here I am hidden - I am safe from the rage of a drug-fucked runaway Maybe I am just a paranoid kid but I never liked playing the victim I witnessed excuses pour out of my mouth Only speak to evil if it can't see you And if I ever needed to push it out, I'd just leave it a dial tone to talk to Just so I will stay safe from sharpened teeth Ripping up my scarred skin just to watch me bleed I don't want to be scared anymore I was always terrified of the darkness but I found something worse to fear Just 'cause living in the shadows is not what I wanted Doesn't mean I don't belong here Easy to breathe in relief when I hear the front door slam shut Heart-stopping disbelief to know I'd survived another hunt You can't make me do anything that you want I was always terrified...

Bury your child, now, in a resting place You found him there; lifeless, afloat A blue grave to claim a most innocent soul A tragedy - your family torn It was only six years ago he was born Sorrow and anguish don't fill the void The wreckage of a smile that day destroyed Pick out a coffin for your baby now The one that drowned, there, in his blue grave Heart-attack - cut to black You pray for a way that you can go back Bury your child, now, in a resting place Hoping that somehow - that someday - you'll get to see his face Once again, smiling at you; the way that he did - the way that you were used to Bury your child, now, and return to a house you can't bear to live in There's so much heartache and grief in these walls You remember the day he first learnt to talk The way that he smiled when he started to walk As your tears flood your flashbacks of it all The first day of school - the Christmases The way he drew pictures of you and him They're all still right up there on the fridge How could any of this have happened? Do you blame yourself for what you lost and that his life didn't last? In the blink of an eye: the ultimate cost But to the future we're blind, and we can't change the past Bury your child in a resting place Bury your child, now, in a resting place Hoping that somehow - that someday - you'll get to see his face Once again, smiling at you; the way that he did - the way that you were used to Bury your child, now, and return to a house you can't bear to live in Bear to live in Bear to live in Heart-attack - cut to black You pray for a way

All we leave is ashes I am barely breathing In a conscious state, I lie awake in grieving Can you keep me believing that it wasn't a waste of both of our days? Repeating the same mistakes again and again I watched your soul leave your body countless times I tended to your every wound and wiped your eyes You were a mosaic of shattered, stainless glass So bright and beautiful but damaged by your past I saw the light in your eyes - the music in your heart Tried to piece you back together when the world tore you apart But we were never meant for the distance Far to caught up in the fragile moments We set ourselves alight Self-destructive love A heartbreak, undenied All we leave is ashes Fallen to the endless fight I couldn't keep you safe You were never on my side All we leave is ashes All we leave is ashes I am barely breathing I remember the day that you turned away in leaving I guess that even promises aren't worth keeping If there's just no way that things can remain The way we hoped they would - for good - from change We set ourselves alight Self-destructive love A heartbreak, undenied All we leave is ashes Fallen to the endless fight I couldn't keep you safe You were never on my side All we leave is ashes And don't tell me it's okay because we both know better I hoped for the best but we're no good for each other And don't tell me it's okay because we both know better I hoped for the best but we're no good for each other We set ourselves alight Self-destructive love A heartbreak, undenied (All we leave is ashes) Lost to the darkest night Forcing our fears and doubts to collide All we leave is ashes No matter how hard we tried These burning flames always seemed to rise All we leave is ashes

I don't want to feel numb Castaway dreams; I exiled every thought of you In my misery - in my grief-stricken fortitude Shelled - exhausted - and I'm still haunted By every single word that I never got a chance to say to you Numb - I don't want to feel numb What have I become? Please set me free from this heart-wrenching agony Numb - I'm frozen inside; I'm numb You were so fucking young Please set me free from this heart-wrenching agony You are a ghost now - I created you To teach me things and to pull me through A memory I will never let die I fucking hope there's an afterlife I will not ever forget, but I still hold my regrets I will not ever forget you Why would I ever want to? In the silence - in the dead of night I feel your presence Is this just in my mind? Hoping to myself that somehow you are fine I fucking hope there's an afterlife Numb - I don't want to feel numb What have I become? Please set me free from this heart-wrenching agony Numb - I'm frozen inside; I'm numb You were so fucking young Please set me free from this heart-wrenching agony Numb Numb Numb You will live on in my memory

You couldn't tell how difficult it was to let it fall apart I meant what I said and I meant it from the start It's just a nightmare - a crazy love affair With emotions and a heartbreak that was never meant to be there Now few days remain and when they come they bring you pain (they bring you pain) It wasn't easy to hurt or deceive, and now I'm down on my knees Just begging, 'won't you forgive me?' I fucked it up and I made you plead When you were never in the wrong; just needed me for too long When all you were really chasing was a stupid boy that was nothing but wrong Now few days remain and when they come they bring you pain The burning sun, it rages on, and we can't bring back what we lost Unforgivable is that you trusted me - you're unforgivable (You're unforgivable) Unforgivable is what you meant to me - I'm unforgivable (I'm unforgivable) Unforgivable is that you trusted me - you're unforgivable (You're unforgivable) Unforgivable is what you meant to me - we're unforgivable Time to move on - time to forget about it I've broken it: all the promises So just move on, you'll be better off without me Just consider it history Now few days remain (now few days remain) And when they come they bring you pain The burning sun, it rages on (the burning sun rages on) And we can't bring back what we lost Now few days remain but when they come they bring you pain The burning sun, it rages on, but we can't bring back what we lost

You're covered in bruises from head to toe He has a million excuses as to why you shouldn't go No need to go through this now that you know He's gonna do it again - and again - because you forgive him, so He'll do it again; you know he will He's not your friend - he's not your love He'll do it again; he'll cut you down Bruises on your skin you cover up Doesn't that say enough? Doesn't that say enough? You're covered in tear stains from crying through the night Every time he raises his voice or you get into a fight And you know it's coming - you know he acts before he thinks You gotta get up now - get off this ship before it sinks (you) He'll do it again; you know he will He's not your friend - he's not your love He'll do it again; he'll cut you down Bruises on your skin you cover up Doesn't that say enough? Doesn't that say enough? Doesn't it? Doesn't it? Doesn't it? You wasted so much time trying to make him better - trying to find a light You wasted so much time You're wasting your life in a toxic sea with no land in sight And you're gonna drown if you don't fly You're covered in bruises from head to toe He has a million excuses as to why you shouldn't go He'll do it again; you know he will He's not your friend - he's not your love He'll do it again; he'll cut you down Bruises on your skin you cover up He'll do it again, and again, and again, and again, and again He'll do it again, and again, and again, and again, and again Pack your bags - get the fuck out of that place You shouldn't have to wear those black eyes on your face

I do this all the time; I'm used to the pain These scars of mine will always remain I never questioned why I felt this way Always accepted that I was not okay Through blurry eyes I watch my hands draw blood from my flesh once again But I've never gone this deep before and as I try to get up off the floor I feel weak at the knees, and light in the head And I think, 'fuck, this was an accident' I call for help, but I am here all alone It will be hours before you'll be home I lose perception of my surroundings Slowly but surely, I start to feel drowsy I've lost too much blood - I can't find my phone I feel so scared, and confused, and lost, and alone I didn't even get a chance to properly say goodbye Half-written suicide notes dating back to last July And I can't help but imagine the look in your eyes And in your grief, you blame yourself and even try to apologise What the fuck was I thinking dancing with death? It hasn't been easy living like this But did I really want for it to end this way? Fade into nothingness and leave my corpse on display for the ones that I love to discover? I used to think that it didn't even matter But the only thing that comes from death is broken hearts You're gonna find my suicide notes The ones I wished I never wrote The ones that say: I can't go on The ones that are all ripped and torn (ripped and torn) You're gonna find my suicide notes The ones I never even completed I used to feel so fucking defeated But now I'll never feel another thing at all "I guess I've always been better at writing my feelings down As opposed to speaking them - especially when the words that come out just feel like razor Blades on my tongue I'm trapped in this aching state of paralysis Because I don't want to be here anymore I just won't let myself act on it I'm so full of fear, which only makes me feel like I'm this huge burden And not just on myself, but on my loved ones Especially when they actually acknowledge that I am fucked up And they go out of their way to try and help me But nothing they do ever makes me feel any better" "Medication's just a cover up And I can only distract myself for so long Before I find myself spiralling back down into this fucking mess of a mind Full of so much confusion, and a million mixed messages And I guess it's just unfortunate that the voice That stands out most is the one that says 'just kill yourself' So if this means that I'm weak, or I'm selfish, or I gave up, then fine I won't argue with that But I'm tired of my eyes stinging - and my head aching And my nightmares being nothing compared to the state of mind I find myself trapped in day after day - night after night And I would come kiss you goodbye but I know you'll change my mind" "I'm sorry..." I'll be a memory - I'll be a headstone Please forgive me; I just really want you to know I love you so much and I am so sorry I didn't tell you enough when you could hear me But I cannot regret what I have done Because you can't feel a thing when you are gone

I can't change my future My mind is breaking with every thought of the end My anxiety, it takes over me, as I choke on my very fear I don't want to become nothingness - I want to stay right here One day I will be nothing to anyone (but a memory) One day I will lose consciousness and all feeling All the times I've spent with the ones I love I won't even have a choice to remember One day I will be nothing to anyone My head is aching and I just can't comprehend Why this insanity - like calamity - seems to be my only friend My chest clenches and my head caves in (and my head caves in) With screaming voices I can't do a thing about (they won't leave me alone) One day I will be nothing to anyone (but a memory) One day I will lose consciousness and all feeling All the times I've spent with the ones I love I won't even have a choice to remember One day I will be nothing to anyone With no escape and not much hope - nothing except time All I can do is wait until mine With no escape and not much hope - nothing except time All I can do is wait until mine One day I will be nothing to anyone (but a memory) but a memory... One day I will lose consciousness and all feeling All the times I've spent with the ones I love I won't even have a choice to remember One day I will be nothing to anyone I can't change my future I can't change my future